Sticking things in holes
I bit my lip yesterday. When I let my tongue linger on the sore spot, whitish and wet, it feels as though I could stick my tongue the whole way through my lip and out the other side of my face. The dry side.
Do we all know the guy who got caked and, well...., one thing led... andthere was blood and teeth....and now my boyfriend has quite a distiguished scar in the valley where the chin and the lip meet. He is about to (or perhaps already has) peirce himself again. This time voluntarily, as the folks at the infinite body prohibited him from being intoxicated...when..... he decided to put a ring through his....ummmm....manhood? I will admit, I have seen manhood, and his is impressive. and, I will admit, I am intruiged to experience his new accoutrement.
He lives far away however and will not eek out difinitively whether he underwent the proceedure or whether, for lack of a good beer (or any beer), he chickened out. Next weekend he's coming in for the big corporate bash and, jeezze, what a blast it would be if I had something to greet his prince with in the hotel room.
Ok, children, its your first post, lets keep it clean.
Now, its quite possible the boy, the very bad boy, is pulling my chain. Which he has a penchant for doing. Now if this is the case he might get something stuck up some other hole.....clean, clean....
He once called me, as I hunched over an overheating laptop, nearly blind after endless hours spent in effort to meet the critical year end deadline.
K:Whatcha doin? I ask distractedly as I feverishlyfill my spreadsheet with formulae
B: Packing.....
K: ???
B: Yeah, I won.
K: Again, ????
B: I won a trip to the Bahamas, you know, for test driving a car. They pulled my name out of the box.
K: ahhhhh.....shit, I didn't meant to do that, %@#$%^&!......what....ummm... when, where? how?
B: You wanna go? I'm leaving tonight....you can make it if you leave now.....
....at this point I have at least 500 more formulae to put to rest and a dozen charts that need formatted, for you know, the BIG presentation tomorrow.....burning the midnight oil shit....
K: Tonight?....Bahamas...
my mind is racing for ways to get out of the BIG presenation. what was that magic spell Mickey Mouse used in Fantasia to get the mops to do carry the buckets themselves? .....no! no! impossible.... C A N N O T do it, no way, impossible....pathetic whimper
B: So, cummon, you gonna come? If not, I'll just take K. (K- read massage therapist neighbor)
he is the cruelest man alive.
So, in conclusion, he did not win a trip to the carribbean, but was instead landing one of his unconcionable self-gratifying yonkers upon me on the busiest day of busiest week of the year.
Word of the day: solipsism
Q: Who am I?
A: I bet if it were up your ass you'd know?
Ahhh....men....gotta love em. Right?
Do we all know the guy who got caked and, well...., one thing led... andthere was blood and teeth....and now my boyfriend has quite a distiguished scar in the valley where the chin and the lip meet. He is about to (or perhaps already has) peirce himself again. This time voluntarily, as the folks at the infinite body prohibited him from being intoxicated...when..... he decided to put a ring through his....ummmm....manhood? I will admit, I have seen manhood, and his is impressive. and, I will admit, I am intruiged to experience his new accoutrement.
He lives far away however and will not eek out difinitively whether he underwent the proceedure or whether, for lack of a good beer (or any beer), he chickened out. Next weekend he's coming in for the big corporate bash and, jeezze, what a blast it would be if I had something to greet his prince with in the hotel room.
Ok, children, its your first post, lets keep it clean.
Now, its quite possible the boy, the very bad boy, is pulling my chain. Which he has a penchant for doing. Now if this is the case he might get something stuck up some other hole.....clean, clean....
He once called me, as I hunched over an overheating laptop, nearly blind after endless hours spent in effort to meet the critical year end deadline.
K:Whatcha doin? I ask distractedly as I feverishlyfill my spreadsheet with formulae
B: Packing.....
K: ???
B: Yeah, I won.
K: Again, ????
B: I won a trip to the Bahamas, you know, for test driving a car. They pulled my name out of the box.
K: ahhhhh.....shit, I didn't meant to do that, %@#$%^&!......what....ummm... when, where? how?
B: You wanna go? I'm leaving tonight....you can make it if you leave now.....
....at this point I have at least 500 more formulae to put to rest and a dozen charts that need formatted, for you know, the BIG presentation tomorrow.....burning the midnight oil shit....
K: Tonight?....Bahamas...
my mind is racing for ways to get out of the BIG presenation. what was that magic spell Mickey Mouse used in Fantasia to get the mops to do carry the buckets themselves? .....no! no! impossible.... C A N N O T do it, no way, impossible....pathetic whimper
B: So, cummon, you gonna come? If not, I'll just take K. (K- read massage therapist neighbor)
he is the cruelest man alive.
So, in conclusion, he did not win a trip to the carribbean, but was instead landing one of his unconcionable self-gratifying yonkers upon me on the busiest day of busiest week of the year.
Word of the day: solipsism
Q: Who am I?
A: I bet if it were up your ass you'd know?
Ahhh....men....gotta love em. Right?
posted by craylola at 7:58 PM
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